Sunday, 26 August 2012

Life's New Meaning

It all started in the year 1998; I was just a typical 14yr old, in class 4 in secondary school living in the dormitory. I had my family and Friends who supported and encouraged me. I’m the first kid of my parents together, and have a half-brother from my mum, and half-sisters from dad.
On this faithful Friday morning which was a mid-term break back then in school, everyone was so excited to go home and spend the break with their family. I sat in front of my class room with my girlfriends, it was an all-girls school, so we sat there waiting for 12 noon for the bell to go off and we’ll be bound, but instead I noticed my friends started acting funny, they started delaying and intentionally trying to avoid leaving school with me. I was surprised because their attitude towards me was so unusual. I waited quietly for their attitude to end because I remember we were all sitting here together a few minutes ago anticipating 12 noon. Then this sudden change in attitude, with a sigh all I thought to myself was when I get home I’ll just tell my mum these girls aren’t true friends. Little did I know that they all had a secret they were keeping from me. As I sat there still confused about all that has been going on and expecting one of them to suggest that we get going because we had a long 6hour drive we had to make home. As I look towards the school gate who do I see my uncle and my older brother walking by us to the dormitory, I called out to them with excitement and ran to hug them, at that moment I forgot about my friends and all their drama. I had a private car to travel in with my family I didn’t need my friends anymore, but something was wrong  in all my excitement I noticed the warm reception I got from my uncle and brother and I saw my brothers eyes were red I couldn’t tell if he was crying or he was just stressed, I didn’t have the courage to ask him what was wrong, I just ignored him and asked him how everyone at home was doing.
So we started our journey, now instead of going west where I live with my parents we drove east to my grandma’s house I asked them why we were going to grandma’s house even though I knew that was where they came from because they live in the same state as my grandma. And they said my mum was at grandma’s house and wanted me to come spend the break over there with her. I was happy to go there because that means I was going to enjoy my mid-term break. I slept off as we drove and half way into the journey I jumped out of my sleep with the most terrifying feeling ever I still can’t explain what scared me out of that sleep. When I woke up it was already dark so I just stayed up till we got to my grandma’s house. We got home and to my surprise the house was filled with so many people from relatives to family friends. It was so unusual to meet all these people in grandma’s house , yes I understand that I have my uncles, aunties and cousins around whenever we come visiting during long vacations but the crowd I met in the house on this day was so unusual because this time there were people I haven’t seen in a long while there, my grand aunties and uncle were also in the house that night. But, in the midst of all this the one person I was so anxious to see was my mum. I went into the house went upstairs looking for my mum, she was nowhere around, I found my grandma in the front porch upstairs and she had about 10 people sitting and standing around her. I went to her and gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, she asked how I was doing and all about my school which I told her was fine. All I wanted was to see my mum, so I asked her where my mum was and she said went out but would soon be home so I had to sit and wait for my mum to come home. 
My Grandma asked me to come sit beside her, she asked me if I was ready to eat or would like to take a cup of tea, I told her I was fine I had already lost appetite because of all the unusual attention I was getting. I think my grandma noticed I was getting really uncomfortable and restless she had to excuse herself and left to see my uncle who lives at the other wing of the twin duplex in which my grandma lived. I sat there still waiting for my mum to get home, I’d jump at any voice I hear, every voice I heard that night sounded like mums’. I just sat there at that moment I started getting scared and uneasy, I felt like something just isn’t right here my mum is still not home and everybody seems to be avoiding me and they’re all acting funny, as I sat there thinking to myself my cousin came up to me and said my grandma and uncle sent for me, so I went to my uncles apartment to answer them. When I got there my uncle had this whole roasted chicken and beef with a pack of juice and some soda he had prepared for me he asked me how I was doing and school and told me help myself to the treat he had in front of me he said he bought them for me. I told him I was okay and didn’t want to eat anything. So he started talking to me about life and how unfair life was, how he lost his dad at a young age. I just sat there nodding my head, I was beginning to feel tired and just wanted to lie down and the next thing I heard him say was we lost your mum, she had a heart attack and slumped. My heart sank, at that point i realised why they were so many people around and why i was getting all the warm treatment. I was so weak I cried but all I wanted from that moment was to speak with my siblings so we had to call them because they were west with my dad, they were all I had. When I called them I could tell they heard the news already. I asked them how they were doing and it was obvious they weren’t doing fine they said they wanted to see me. So my grandma had to arrange for them to come down to her place. She was going to be our new mum. I cried all night to the next day. From that night onwards life had a new meaning to me. 

Thursday, 9 August 2012

Why use the Term "Abuja Girls"

I don't understand why people use the term "Abuja Girls" in a Negative way? when you hear that what comes after it is they like money, and they can sleep with anything just for money. In my opinion that's so wrong. Is there anyone in this world who doesn't like money or haven't we heard of the saying "Money makes the world go round" its a medium of exchange we can't do without money as far as the world is concerned. 
  I live in Abuja and have also lived in Lagos which is my birth state, and been to some states where i schooled and i believe we have the same kind of people everywhere. So i don't  understand why Abuja Girls should be stigmatized. As a single girl living i Abuja i must say its pretty tough keeping a good relationship here because most guys here feel all the single independent ladies here sleep around with married men and politicians for money. But its not so, Most girls here work so hard for their money because, the cost of living Abuja is so high people have to work 2 jobs or run 2 businesses to survive. There are ladies who are bankers who have shops where they sell clothes, shoes bags, accessories, frozen foods, bakeries and Drinking-bars and small restaurants etc..  If you don't have a substitute job or business it would be so hard for you to cope with your salary.
    Now what these ignorant people who believe every girl in Abuja is a Runs girl don't know is that there are girls who come into this town with the same ignorant mindset thinking  they can sleep with politicians and they'll be made or they can be with one or two guys and they'll be given a huge sum of money to go to Dubai buy stuff and  comeback to sell, or by the time the meet one money miss road he'll buy them a car and they'll become big girls automatically. That's wrong 
cos the same way these girls are plotting their strategy is the same way the ignorant guys are plotting theirs too, by lying to these girls that they are who they're not and telling the girls they'll take care of them when in actual sense they won't. All they  just want is to sleep with you and start avoiding your calls. At the end you see that the people who they term Abuja girls aren't even Abuja girls, because they are Hustlers who came to seek greener pastures here.

      A typical Abuja girl who has her family values ,and those who are working or running their businesses i don't think sleeping around with men for money is not an option. My reason for writing this is that i would like people to change their perception about the girls in Abuja, So that they can respected and valued by the men here and those who come to visit. Because so many young ladies are suffering from this stigmatization by the lack of commitments in their relationships.  Please NOT all "ABUJA GIRLS" are Runs Girls. thank you.